Yer Ma's a Witch, Boy!
by HMS Siren
Summary: Rin loves his mother, really he does. But the sheer will-power and abilities she possesses, if the massive bouquet of four-leaf clovers on the counter says anything about it, kind of frightens him. "Rin! Look who came to say hello!" "Holy Samhain, mom, is that a snake' In other words, Yuri gets into shenanigans and Rin tries to deal. [One-Shot]


**A/N:**

 **Hails: I need them. 'Nuff said.**

* * *

 **Situation #1: Snakes**

Rin twiddled idly at the stovetop, observing the simmering water in the pot with only a slight bit of curiosity. It was less boring than staying in his room all day and his mom didn't raise a useless fool (even if, at times, Rin could no doubt _be_ a useless fool.)

With a yawn and the internal plead for it to be midday instead of the crack of dawn as his mother liked to rise, Rin righted himself and stretched. His eyes landed on the crystalline glass vase on the counter which cradled a ribbon-tied bouquet...

...Of four-leaf clovers.

Rin was tempted to snatch one of the small, green plants but found himself hesitating. His mother had found every single one of those just two days ago and somehow they were still flourishing, uncrinkled and sated without a worry in the world. The thought of messing up something his mother has worked hard on, even if it was unnoticeable to even the most trained of eyes, made him feel sick. She would either cry or tell him off good-naturedly; he wasn't in the mood for either.

Instead, he opted to ignore the ominous air of the clovers and scooped up the spaghetti box, prying the cardboard flaps open near thoughtlessly. Somewhere behind him, a door opened and closed and was followed by heavy footfalls ( _'probably boot clad'_ Rin thought).

"Rin! Look who came to say hello!" Yuri said jubilantly.

With a quiet sigh, Rin turned, looked. He proceeded to leap nearly a meter into the air with a high-pitched, girlish squeal and flail like a madman, sending uncooked spaghetti noodles everywhere in his terror.

"Holy Samhain, mom!" He hollered, clutching his chest. "Is that a snake?!"

And sure as sugar, Yuri was holding a snake. And not your average green garden variety. It was long and large, winding itself around Yuri's wrists and arms and the back of her neck. The sight of the creature, a soil viper he thinks by the brown markings, is almost enough to send him into cardiac arrest. Yuri, on the other hand, seems almost offended by her son's reaction.

"Rin, watch your language," She scolded. Miffed, she stood up straight and lifted her chin snootily. "His name is Demoriel and he'll be staying with us for a couple days."

 _'Demoriel? Like one of the 72 Spirits of Solomon?'_ Rin asked internally. Unimpressed might be a better word.

He watched in a mix of fascination and horror as the snake slithered down from Yuri's body, slinking around the corner of the kitchen and out of sight. Rin, who was halfway to climbing on the counter to get out of range, could barely get his next words out.

"Oh, my God... are you kidding me?"

* * *

 **Situation #2: Letters from True Cross Academy**

Sunday. It was Sunday and thank goodness for that. This was the only day Rin got up of his own free will, dressed in loose, comfortable clothes, and bolted down the stairs because it was the time of the week that his brother sent him letters from the prestigious academy he attended miles away from home. Yukio always had something interesting to tell him and he swore he'd be the first to read it.

His determination burned brightly, his eyes gleamed intensely, and no god, enchantress, or mythical creature could stop that. He veered around the corner at the foot of the stairs, nearly tripping as he skidded to a stop in front of _Demoriel_.

 _The thing,_ as Rin refused to refer to the serpent in any other way, guarded the mail pile probably at the request of Yuri. It hissed menacingly. Rin reached behind him for the broom. Nothing was going to stop him from getting that letter and Demoriel was certainly no exception. He handled the broom carefully, clutching it tightly in his hands as though he were wielding a balanced staff from the sparring matches his mother initiated with no warning.

"Move," Rin commanded sharply. Demoriel made no effort to heed the brat. "Move or by the power of the Horned God I will strike you down!"

Demoriel seemed to make a noise of taunting disappointment as if saying _'disrespecting **the** Wiccan God? Your mother wouldn't approve.' _

"I don't need your opinion," Rin snapped. "Now move. You are in my way. The letter is first-come-first-serve and you are not playing puppy guard just for mom's sake!"

He swiped the broom a couple times, nearly hitting the viper. He hissed unpleasantly and slithered away, leaving the mail pile open. Rin eagerly leaped for it as soon as he believed the coast was clear. He sorted through each letter with merely a glance until he happened on Yukio's usual stationary. He abandoned the other letters, bills with no meaning to him, and vaulted over the couch in the living room. The letter was already free of it's confined the second Rin sat down.

His eyes coasted over every word, taking in the eloquent rhetoric with hunger.

 _"Dear Rin,_

 _In concerns to your last letter, I promise everything is fine if not a little rough from time to time. What are you going to do when you've lived away from the city your whole life? You don't need to beat anybody up, it was just some kindred teasing._

 _As for the headmaster, well, you've met him. He's an unpleasant fellow. I'm pretty sure any exorcist or exorcist-in-training doesn't trust him at all, not that I blame them. Even mom sent him a sideways look when they first met and her compassion knows no bounds._

 _Shiemi is indeed as sweet as you asked if not more than I initially believed. Mr. Fujimoto is on good terms with both me and the supply shop owner so I get to see Shiemi quite often. She has currently given me a new nickname that I am rather fond of. No, you may not start referring to me as such which is why I will not tell you what it is._

 _The Cram School is a rowdy bunch and I'm certainly growing used to the noise. It's nothing like home, even if you and mom are similar to my classmates in that sense. I miss you as well and am looking forward to visiting soon. Stay out of trouble and please do as mom asks, even if hiding your tail is uncomfortable._

 _With much love and concerns,_  
 _Your brother Yukio."_

Rin's tail twitched irritably at the last line but he wouldn't let it bother him too much. Already he wanted to write a letter back to Yukio before the day consumed him with chores and his mother-

"Rin! Care to tell me why you hit Demoriel with a broom when I asked him to fetch the mail?"

Ah, yes, right on cue, mother.

* * *

 **Situation #3: He Didn't See Anything**

Rin wandered the house, up and down the stairs, out and about as quick as possible in search of his mother or for something in possession of her's. Not two minutes ago, a woman came to the front part of the shop where mom sold remedies and herbs and stored some of her clay creations, being a sculptor and all. Supposedly, it was a bottled concoction Yuri made as a special request. Though what it was for, Rin couldn't say. Instead, he ended up going on a treasure hunt.

He rooted through one of the supply rooms, wondering what on Earth it was that the woman was seeking. After his fruitless attempts, he wandered into another room, a little quiet for his usual self. He cracked open the door, watching with a bit of surprise as his mother ground together something in a mortar and pestle. A cauldron was bubbling a toxic green color and the low light only made it that much more ominous.

Rin tried not to pass out at the sight or let his mind jump to conclusion too quickly. Rather, spotting a pristine bottle on the nearby counter, he exited the room as quickly as possible, container in hand. It was probably freshly brewed if the purity and water-like consistency of the liquid said anything about it. He ambled back down the hall, head still racing a bit from the sight of his mother engaging it was seemed like dark magic (he was not about to ask, he never let his mother delve too deep into the details of her other hobbies.)

"Sorry I took so long," Rin said, approaching the door with bottle in hand. "I think this might be what you're looking for but I'm not sure."

The wisely old woman, who was dressed quite traditionally and had greeted herself sternly, examined the bottle suspiciously before taking it off of Rin's hands. "I've done business with yer ma before, this is it." She dug around the pockets of her apron and handed him what seemed to be a mix of gold and silver coins.

Rin cocked an eyebrow, staring at the currency with the utmost confusion. He shook his head, trying to clear out the gunk of this mysterious encounter.

"Um, well, mom does give mandatory warnings to everything she hands off. Don't use it recklessly, only use it for its intended purposes-"

"I know how to use it," The woman said, waving him off. "I'll say it again, I've done business with her before. Yer ma's a witch, you know that, boy?"

Rin tilted his head like a lost puppy. "I'm sorry, what?"

"A witch! She enchants things. Goodness, yer her son, ain'tcha? Shouldn't you know this stuff?" The woman groused before turning and walking down the hill required to get up the shop.

Pensively, carefully closing the door, Rin tried not to think too hard about the possibility of his mom being a witch. It would explain why she always brought animals and demons alike inside the house (Thank God. Demoriel was finally gone!) It would also explain why she sculpted golems in her free time and mumbled lullabies in Latin or Greek whenever the opportunity arose.

Yuri? A witch?

Well, it made sense.

* * *

 **A/N:**

 **Hails: I am completely not sorry for this. I love the headcanon that Yuri was a witch, it's really intriguing to me. (And if she wasn't a witch, then she sure as hell was a tough exorcist with senior credentials. I will stand by this until the day I die.)**

 **Stay savvy, my friends.  
~Hails**


End file.
